I’ve been procrastinating lately about writing a new entry. I was holding off, partly because I was waiting until I knew for sure what my Christmas plans were, and partly because I had zero desire to write about anything. It’s a crappy feeling when you don’t feel like writing about how you are feeling. Think about that for a second… it will make sense in a bit.

Anyway, barring a miracle, I’m 99.9999% sure that I’ll be camping out here in San Diego for the holidays. I had hoped that I would be able to somehow score a last minute deal on airfare back home to New Hampshire, but I wasn’t able to pull it off. I guess I could be stuck in worse places. It’s 70 and sunny here during the day. My roommate and his boyfriend are also staying here in town so I’ll have company at least. Our tentative plan is to just take off south into Mexico and see how far we can get in a day or two. The border is only about 20 minutes south of here. I’ve never been there so I think it’s a good excuse to grab our cameras and see what sort of trouble we can find. My Mother said to watch out for Bandits. I’ll keep you posted and put up any interesting photos I take if we go.

I’ve been having strange dreams lately, not the kind where you are shopping and can’t find the shoes you want in the right color, but those real warped dreams that change the way you think the entire next day. In one I was walking with my ex-boyfriend and we were having this really in-depth conversation about life and where we both are now. I woke up missing him very much. In another dream, I was standing in a room, next to a closed door and someone was trying to force it open from the other side, banging against it. The door finally flew open knocking me aside. It was my Brother Scott, who died 2 years ago, and he was madder then hell. Madder then I’ve ever seen anyone in my life. Mad at me. With both arms he just pushed me full force into the wall, knocking me down. He didn’t say a word, he just stood there, staring at me in his anger. That was it. I woke up scared, disoriented and trying to catch my breath in a dark room. For the past 2 days I’ve been walking around trying to figure out what in the hell I did that would piss him off so bad.

Maybe I should have started looking for airline tickets sooner… Happy Holidays.

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